#i just had this realisation and i can't stop thinking about it

[blitzwhore]

I can't stop thinking about how Stolas hasn't seen any of the growth that Blitzø has had in Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers regarding his feelings for Stolas... And what little he has witnessed, he was probably too drunk to process.

He hasn't seen Blitzø almost bankrupting his business. He hasn't seen Blitzø watching him dance with, and kiss, someone else and losing his mind. He hasn't seen Blitzø softly admitting that the bird really got to him; hasn't seen Blitzø holding back tears while saying he'll never have a relationship with Stolas.

And, in Mastermind, though their inner worlds connect, Stolas is still very pointedly facing away from Blitzø. Not seeing Blitzø cry desperately for him, not hearing Blitzø beg him not to sacrifice himself; too focused on getting through this moment, on saving Blitzø, on taking the blame and ultimately dying.

And this is Stolas—the same man who told Blitzø "you are free of me" in The Full Moon. The same man who sang "I don't think it meant a thing at all to you". The same man who believes he is not good enough to be loved, who believes he is a burden—that no one could possibly choose to be in his company, at least not without getting something in exchange—least of all Blitzø. The same man who was so ready to accept Blitzø's rejection and extricate himself from Blitzø's life that he fulfilled the prophecy himself by portaling Blitzø away after Blitzø's (perceived) rejection.

Blitzø has come to the realisation that he loves Stolas, and to the realisation that Stolas loves him. But I don't think it has clicked for Stolas yet that Blitzø loves him too.

And now, Stolas has nothing. The only reason he has a roof over his head is that Blitzø has taken him in.

Just how guilty is he going to feel? Just how strongly is he going to believe that he's burdening Blitzø by needing a place to stay, by needing to be taken care of? Just how hard is he going to try to convince himself that Blitzø could never possibly love him, despite the blatant, obvious love that is going to pour from every single of Blitzø's words and actions toward him?

Oh. Oh. What if it's now Stolas' turn to believe he could never be loved by Blitzø despite the raging evidence against that? Just like Blitzø has done for the better part of these two seasons?

[babyexpertsublime]

I can't stop thinking about how Stolas hasn't seen any of the growth that Blitzø has had in Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers regarding his feelings for Stolas... And what little he has witnessed, he was probably too drunk to process.

He hasn't seen Blitzø almost bankrupting his business. He hasn't seen Blitzø watching him dance with, and kiss, someone else and losing his mind. He hasn't seen Blitzø softly admitting that the bird really got to him; hasn't seen Blitzø holding back tears while saying he'll never have a relationship with Stolas.

And, in Mastermind, though their inner worlds connect, Stolas is still very pointedly facing away from Blitzø. Not seeing Blitzø cry desperately for him, not hearing Blitzø beg him not to sacrifice himself; too focused on getting through this moment, on saving Blitzø, on taking the blame and ultimately dying.

And this is Stolas—the same man who told Blitzø "you are free of me" in The Full Moon. The same man who sang "I don't think it meant a thing at all to you". The same man who believes he is not good enough to be loved, who believes he is a burden—that no one could possibly choose to be in his company, at least not without getting something in exchange—least of all Blitzø. The same man who was so ready to accept Blitzø's rejection and extricate himself from Blitzø's life that he fulfilled the prophecy himself by portaling Blitzø away after Blitzø's (perceived) rejection.

Blitzø has come to the realisation that he loves Stolas, and to the realisation that Stolas loves him. But I don't think it has clicked for Stolas yet that Blitzø loves him too.

And now, Stolas has nothing. The only reason he has a roof over his head is that Blitzø has taken him in.

Just how guilty is he going to feel? Just how strongly is he going to believe that he's burdening Blitzø by needing a place to stay, by needing to be taken care of? Just how hard is he going to try to convince himself that Blitzø could never possibly love him, despite the blatant, obvious love that is going to pour from every single of Blitzø's words and actions toward him?

Oh. Oh. What if it's now Stolas' turn to believe he could never be loved by Blitzø despite the raging evidence against that? Just like Blitzø has done for the better part of these two seasons?

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[chippedshake]

Ponyboy's narration pt. 2

Okay so.

I was going to make one post about all of the characters from the Outsiders as narrators but then I started with Ponyboy and saw it was too long a post. Then I started writing Ponyboy in two parts: how he influences the reader and what could've brought him to being an unreliable narrator, but I started with the how and saw it was too long a post.

So this is the second post about Ponyboy’s unreliable narration

This is the post where I talk about how Ponyboy influences the reader (i.e. what tehcniques he / S.E Hinton uses to change the reader's perception), and now this post is about what aspects of his personality brought him to be an unreliable narrator.

Just as a warning: almost everything I'm about to say is subjective (although heavily based on logic) and based on the way I interpret a character.

So without further ado:

What has brought Ponyboy to be such an unreliable narrator?

First of all, we have to consider that Ponyboy's only human. As I mentioned in my first analysis, I wouldn't be able to recite the conversation I had with my friend at the bus stop this morning, much less one from several weeks ago. When Ponyboy writes his English theme, it's been at least a couple weeks since Johnny and Dally died (I saw a detailed timeline somewhere; if I find it I'll link it), so everything has a certain degree of uncertainty.

But that's not the interesting part, because not all first-person narrators are known for being unreliable, while all first-person narrators have this degree of uncertainty that comes with everything being a recollection of facts.

I think that Ponyboy's unreliability can be boiled down to two main points: low self-esteem and struggling with social cues.

Struggling with social cues is a bit simpler to explain, so I'll start with that.

As I said in my other post, Ponyboy states his opinions as absolute facts. But often his opinions are misguided: he thinks Dally doesn't love anyone, and Darry doesn't care about him, both of which are eventually proven wrong. Those are both conclusions he got from taking interactions at their face value, not realising what the other two were thinking.

Darry yells at me? He must hate me. Dally doesn't show his love? He must not feel it.

Since the narrative corrected him on a couple times he failed to read social subtext, we can't assume he's right the other times he tells us what a character is thinking with absolute certainty. He could perfectly well be wrong, only he hasn't been corrected yet.

This is most evident with Johnny.

I think everyone in the fandom pretty much agrees that Ponyboy mischaracterises Johnny, portraying him as much weaker than he really is.

Some examples of Johnny's characterisation:

He was the gang's pet, everyone's kid brother.

...

"Me and Johnny'll come," I said. I knew Johnny wouldn't open his mouth unless he was forced to.

...

Then for the first time, really, I realized what we were in for. Johnny had killed someone. Quiet, softspoken little Johnny, who wouldn't hurt a living thing on purpose, had taken a human life.

I'm not saying that Ponyboy is 100% completely off when he characterises Johnny because that would be stupid. I have no authority to say he's wrong because Johnny doesn't exist and I don't personally know him.

I do however think that Johnny isn't exactly like Ponyboy says, simply because he was proven wrong with both Darry and Dally, so I have no reason to believe him about Johnny. It probably holds a nugget of truth, or is a reasonable misinterpretation just like Dally and Darry, but isn't the complete truth.

Now this is bridging into full-on speculation territory, but I think that Johnny changed how he was around Ponyboy. As someone who is currently sixteen and has an almost-fourteen-year-old little brother, I am not my real self around him. Of course, the situation is different, but I think that when you interact with someone younger than you, there is a conscious or subconscious filtering process.

Johnny might be quiet, but being quiet doesn't have to mean being the gang's pet or everyone's kid brother. Ponyboy probably misinterprets his silence for a sort of weakness or softness that I personally don't think is there.

Does that classify as a tangent? I think that classifies as a tangent. Idk guys I just love Johnny. I should dedicate a post just to how characters are mischaracterised and how I think they really are.

*adds to drafts*

Anyways...

Where was I?

Right, Ponyboy not understanding social subtext and social cues.

Basically, I think that there's a lot of times where he thinks someone means one thing and he's just drastically misinterpreted what they mean, only he never realises he's wrong. Not all that deep.

Now for the good stuff: Ponyboy's low self-esteem.

Why do I think he has low self-esteem?

Because I have low self-esteem and project onto my favourite characters

For a variety of reason, really. First of all, I have never met a teenager that is genuinely not insecure at all. Everyone’s uncomfortable with how they look and insecure about their abilities, and I think every teenager would be a very unreliable narrator as well as an insecure one.

And, well, Ponyboy is at the very least humble because

I get put into A classes because I'm supposed to be smart

It drives my brother Darry nuts when I do stuff like that, 'cause I'm supposed to be smart; I make good grades and have a high IQ and everything, but I don't use my head.

Ponyboy, at least at the beginning of the book, only ever says he's "supposed to be smart", not that he's actually smart. Cherry says he's smart. Darry says he's smart. Soda says he's smart. But Ponyboy never says he's smart.

Now, there's a lot to be said about how Ponyboy views intelligence (writing one post just brings me to fifteen other ones I want to make), but I think that even assuming he views intelligence as a negative trait, there are lots of ways to say "I'm smart", at least one of which shouldn't remind him of the negative connotations. "I'm good at school", "I'm school smart"; if he wanted to avoid saying "I'm smart", there were other ways.

 There was another column about just Darry and Soda and me: how [...] I made the honor roll at school all the time and might be a future track star. (Oh, yeah, I forgot — I'm on the A-squad track team, the youngest one. I'm a good runner.)

Ponyboy only ever tells us he regularly makes the honor roll and might be a future track star when it's absolutely indispensible. He doesn't like to brag about his accomplishments, much like someone who doesn't think they're important accomplishments.

He tends to devalue his own accomplishments and strong spots while exacerbating others'. (heh did you see that I used exacerbate in a sentence and it sounded natural)

We've all laughed at how much he waxes poetic on Soda's looks, but that is an example of him bringing attention to someone else's positive traits while mainly paying attention to his own flaws. He criticises his own looks in the opening monologue while constantly complimenting Soda's. He says he has a good build but he's still small for fourteen and talks a lot about how much muscle Darry has.

That isn't to say he doesn't criticise other people, he does, but he's constantly comparing himself to others and using their virtues to point out his own flaws in the most teenager form of self-hate I've seen.

I think the most interesting and possibly compelling argument for Ponyboy's insecurity lies with how it ties into the narration.

Ponyboy tells us that Steve, Dally, and Darry hate him at the beginning of the book. He thinks that three out of six people in the gang hate him.

That's nice.

Now, Dally and Darry are proved to actually care about him, but with Steve we're just left with the original assumption.

Let's take a look at the evidence, shall we?

I liked Steve only because he was Soda's best friend. He didn't like me — he thought I was a tagalong and a kid; Soda always took me with them when they went places if they weren't taking girls, and that bugged Steve.

...

Steve shook his head. "Me and Soda are pickin' up Evie and Sandy for the game." He didn't need to look at me the way he did right then. I wasn't going to ask if I could come. I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him.

...

Steve flicked his ashes at me. "What were you doin', walkin' by your lonesome?" Leave it to good old Steve to bring up something like that. 

That's it. That is all the evidence we have that Steve dislikes Ponyboy.

Ponyboy's opinion when he's introducing him, a supposed "look" (might I remind you that we've established that Ponyboy cannot read social cues), and Steve being... worried about him? In a way Ponyboy doesn't like?

Where have we seen that before?

(In case you haven't figured it out: that's exactly what happened with Darry)

And every other time Steve appears, there is absolutely no reason to think he dislikes Ponyboy. They seem friendly even.

Am I saying Steve is never annoyed at Pony? Absolutely not. If my best friend's little brother tagged along to all of our hang-outs, I'd be pissed off too. But there's a big difference between not wanting someone three years younger than you to tag along when you hang out with your best friend and genuinely hating them.

But if you have low self-esteem, you look at any signs of someone being lightly annoyed at you and take that to mean that they hate you (speaking from experience).

What this means for the storyline is that Ponyboy will undermine his own abilities and give the impression that his relationship with other people is worse.

So, in conclusion, Ponyboy is an unreliable narrator because

He's only human and can't be expected to remember everything perfectly

He is very, very bad at reading social cues and understanding subtext, so these are often mis-explained

He has low self esteem and therefore undervalues his own virtues and assumes other people have lower opinions of him

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, so my son of zeus au, yeah?

I made Denki friends with Hermes and I had hermes give him this fancy thieves knife, if you don't know

Well, one of the properties of this knife is that if lost, it will sprout wings similar to the ones on hermes shoes and fly back to you, specifically you, and it can squeeze through spaces it physically shouldn't be able to just to get to you

Well, I can't stop imagining a scene similar to Calypso's island in epic, you know the one. During "Love in Paradise" where Odysseus is threatening to jump off the cliff because trauma

Well, a lot of times I'll reimagine that as someone using themselves as a bargaining chip against someone who can't be killed, kind of like since you can't be killed and you love me so much, get me the fuck out of here or I'll kill myself, don't think I won't, I'm fucking crazy, dude

Well, naturally I've been thinking about this with Denki and SURE he could threaten to jump off the cliff too but I gave him such a pretty little knife to use! And yeah, he wouldn't die from that fall even if he wanted to since he doesn't take fall damage but SHE doesn't know that! Maybe.

Okay, so I'm imagining him pulling out the knife and pointing it at her, but then realizing that she's a goddess and immortal so, quick thinking and remembering she's enamored with him, he turns the knife around and holds it to his own throat

And he has to hold the knife tightly because it's realised that it's against its owner's throat and is trying to flap itself away.

[stormisamoth]

if I had a nickel for every time a Sam riegel character meddled the blue/dead spouse pairing into confessing their love, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's wierd that it's happened twice

[inthedarkofficial]

Homer, Hades 2: Sing, O Muse, of the saffron robed goddess, whose fair countenance was bathed in Selene’s light at the moment of her birth. Homer, Hades: The fire-stepping prince was lifted by Night from the cold ground, where his lord father had discarded him, outside Taco Bell.

[longagoitwastuesday]

I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

[xtinyslip]

"which is it parker? you do or you don't care? i assure you she has been attending meetings frequently with him at the hospital. i couldn't miss it with my smug bastard of a brother reminding me i'm not invited every chance he gets." it was happening and she didn't know why it was even important to her that he knew, that he was aware. it just was. it was important. cee had always stood by the fact that she could trust her gut and her gut was telling her that something was very wrong there. "well, it takes a strong person to be able to handle what comes with being that closely associated with me…" was she paying him a compliment? honestly, with the feelings that were bombarding her system. she didn't really know what she was supposed to be feeling? anger? hurt? sadness? it was such an overwhelming blur of them all, she didn't know what to do with that. "the room isn't here." almost like she had to say it to remind herself that it was silly to be afraid when it couldn't be here. it wasn't here. right? despite being absolutely ashamed and horrified that someone else knew about all of that. there was also a weight that had been lifted that she didn't even know she was carrying. some one else knew, this wasn't all on her anymore. "… i work harder than should be humanly possibly for him and i don't know why i bother because it's never enough but i can't just stop." up till this very moment with him, it never even occurred to her that it didn't have to be like this. it had been like this for as long as she could possibly remember and that came with a strong sense of ; it would always be this way. "well, apparently i do deserve that. it's… it's handled. it's fine." was it? no, and his pure honesty in that moment had broken through any defense she had left and it was very clear from her expression that it was not handled. that it was the opposite of fine. even if the change in subject was dire, she was glad of it. enough about her and her father. "i couldn't --" she stopped because she realised how true that was, that she couldn't hurt his daughter… but why? she didn't even know her… or? "for now it may not be the worst for everyone to believe you think i did. hm? till we figure out what actually happened?" referring to them as we had come so naturally, she hadn't even picked up on the fact that she'd said it.

"if that's true… i'm sorry you had to be witness to that. i can't imagine it being all that pleasant. hm?" she wasn't even fighting the fact that he had been there now. she just couldn't fully commit to the idea he was because even though everything was telling her he was. she didn't remember yet. everything he was saying had only been granted permission to enter her head once and never again. simply because it felt like a silly little girls dream and not something she would ever actually be able to pull off. "you do know he would rather hear news of my death than ever let that happen?" she had not only heard his words, they had sunken into her and that was why she had to try and dismiss them because she gave them anymore strength. could she really do it? did she really want too? her head was spinning. "AND YOU THINK THAT I'M NOT AFRAID?" the silence from her that followed was because she couldn't believe she'd admitted that out loud but it was true. the truth was that how he made her feel scared the shit out of her because… without him, she knew she'd never feel like this again. she didn't know how she knew it but she did. "i suppose i will have to watch you slave away and make me a new one so i can know for sure?" being difficult for the sake of it? maybe, although her tone didn't hold the coldness it had before. honestly, if anything, at a push… one could say she might have even been teasing with him, even if she was deadly serious about him baking her a fresh one. "p, you can save it. you know i will never let you have THAT win over me. yes? FOREVER, SHALL BE FOR TOO SOON." no, she didn't mean a word of it and honestly, she wasn't sure she was even trying to be all that convincing. she hadn't even realised she'd used the nickname that she had for him. it had come across naturally. it had felt right. cecilia didn't know where this need to stay with him had come from but it was by far one of the strongest feelings she had ever felt. why couldn't she bare to let go of him? her grin couldn't have been bigger. actually, had she ever smiled this hard? she didn't think so, she had never felt that warm ache in her face from grinning for so long like she did right now. cee didn't think she could get any closer to him but even with that, she was trying, she was trying to make sure there wasn't any distance between them at all. even the tiniest bit would have been too much in that moment. pulling back for the briefest of moments she held the sides of his face in her hands, shit. what was this she was feeling? it couldn't be love. still, before she could do that to herself and let herself go there she was crashing her lips against his again. @fcdcdmcmories

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT SHE DOES OUTSIDE HERE, OKAY? IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS. WE'RE NOT TOGETHER AND HAVEN'T BEEN FOR A VERY LONG TIME. and you.. that's.. that can't be true. she'd never be in any kind of business with him. she hates him." right? and he knew that, because they had talked about it before and why would she need him, when she had her own hospital? that didn't make any sense and right now, it was just giving him a FUCKING HEADACHE. he didn't want to think about that. couldn't, when she was here. "... i don't know what made me different. why you kept me around for that long. i still don't - to this day, but.. FOR A WHILE, IT WAS... US. OR I THINK SO." shaking his head a bit. he didn't know why, but he couldn't be angry at that anymore. no. not at that - not when he knew how much it had took for her to tell him the first time around. "it's no test. you told me. it took a long while, but.. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG. THE WAY YOU REACTED WHENEVER HE CAME AROUND.. IT WASN'T NORMAL. IT WASN'T OKAY. and one day.. you just told me. just like that. about how it started when your mother died. how.. you were just a kid. how everyone saw but no one cared enough to help. they all just left you with him. HOW.. HOW ALONE YOU FELT WHEN HE PUT YOU IN THAT ROOM, especially when all you wanted was for him to care, even for just five minutes. about.. how you always wanted to leave, but.. just didn't know how. that you were horrified of him. tired. suffocating. your words, not mine. i- it was.." clearing his throat, as he looked away. he shouldn't feel like this about her, but.. it was having some fucking human decency, wasn't it? who was he kidding? it was more than that. "no matter what happened between us after that, it.. it made me sick to my stomach when i finally learned the truth. still does. no one deserves that. ESPECIALLY NOT YOU. and even now.. i.. i'd never tell anyone. i never have, never will. it's not my story to tell." maybe he should have, but it wasn't right and that was not the kind of man that he was. and knowing what it had taken for her to gather thee courage to share that with him? no. "you did before. the night of the games. i.. i guess that's why i was so.. quick to believe it. fuck. you really didn't do it? i.. she must have known. she must have known that i was going to.. that.. my heart was elsewhere and.. that's why she lied. FOOLED US ALL. i.. i believe you." what had he done? the things that he had said that night - the things that he had called her, how he had treated her- good god, he could have cried there and then. it wasn't fair. how quick had he been to just.. TURN ON HER, WITHOUT KNOWING THE FULL STORY? what was the full story, anyways? who had lied here? tiffany? because she was the outsider - the one element out. he wasn't ever going to believe it had been laney, but-- no.

he couldn't. not his daughter's mother - not his oldest and best friend. that couldn't be. "no matter what, i.. you can trust that i'd never tell anyone anything. especially not him. I.. YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS," how did she not know this? what the hell had happened to her after they had.. fought like that? "but.. i was there for most of it. i saw. i was there.. after. i think i may know what he did to you better than anyone alive." shaking his head. "you could if you wanted to," how did he know that? "i have a feeling all you'd need to do was want it enough. to be able to stand up to him. to leave it all behind. all you need to do is want it enough." how the hell did he know that? he didn't know but the words felt right. perhaps because he believed in her. perhaps because he... knew. maybe? "of you! i'm.. i'm afraid of trusting you again. i'm afraid of.. all of it. okay? this - us - it's never been a good thing in the past. WE'VE BEEN EACH OTHER'S RUIN MULTIPLE TIMES. YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS BUT I DO. IT'S NOT.. WORTH IT SO.. YES, LOOK AWAY. LOOK AT ANYTHING BUT ME." pretending to be angry wasn't even easy, especially when he could already feel his hands shaking at the thought. if she did? he was.. how long would it take until he snapped and gave in? "oh, now you're just being a fucking brat. you know i know you like it, right? I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE." he could have glared at her, but.. it wasn't like it had been before. he could pretend to be angry and maybe, he was, but.. but.. "i don't think you know me all that well to say that. i'll win. I HATE YOU EVEN MORE, YOU INSUFFERABLE WOMAN. when we back down there.. you leave and you never come back. got it? we don't see each other again." stay. stay with me. he pulled her up against him, deepening the kiss, at the same time that he wrapped his free hand against the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him. even closer. it was impossible to hide how much he was grinning against her lips. damn her. / @xtinyslip

[polaroid-petals]

Sometimes my thoughts drift into how lonesome and terribly bored Omori must've felt in those four years waiting in a blank room, my heart starts hurting, and I gotta back out again

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but like Peter Parker reincarnated as dick grayson angst

[girlivealwaysbean]

sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg

[hauntingblue]

ENIES LOBBY TIME!!!

Sanji's face here.... he Knows he is going to fuck him up

THAT IS SANJI??? 😨

Holding them in my hands again....

Sanji struck a nerve there akdjaoajkq

Increible trio btw.... look at the evidence

............ me next please 🙏🏻

That is love right there I can see it

What if we all killed ourselves (except usopp is telling her the opposite ajahkdhsakjd)

I need sanji to go insane like this more often.... after the timeskip it doesn't happen as much and I love to see him suffering

This is so funny.... there is no denying to her face card

"It's not like she actually wants to die" well yes she does, but no because you know she doesn't really. It is in a quantum state right now

Luffy is such a menace akdhaksjkaak

TELL EM!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!

Look at franky worrying about robin.... do not fret luffy is coming and he will NOT lose!!!!!

This is zoro remarking how usopps fear of being left behind makes no sense.... this is so good.....

This is so endearing but it also breaks my heart....

Who is that sultry binch... (I don't recall this attack AT ALL and i'm sure we never see it again)

They botched his bbl.... 😔😔😔

Luffy's face here... he was convinced she wanted to go with them but was compelled to do otherwise but no.... he thought wrong and he can't fight to her.... I've just been staring at this page for minutes like damn.

Nevermind.... this is something your mother would say "you want to die??? Just wash the dishes and you can do whatever you want later"

"If you wanna die, or whatever...." this is so good like he knows what he is doing.... he Knows.... look at her face. After knowing how luffy and ace were as kids this just makes more sense (oda didn't think about this i'm sure but damn does it fit) also the slight manipulation.... look at all of us we're already here and look how we all miss you already... you know that post about luffy being selfish but his selfishness is jusg kindness to others... yesh

Thinking about robin's cinderella lifestyle.... why did her mother leave her with that aunt and why didn't some archeologist take her in?? Because she doesn't complain about anything just like she doesn't respond when that mother accused her of hitting her child without reason... that's so fucked

Alright this is funny (and also true)... I'm sorry fellow women....

*Justin Bieber voice* I like your laugh... dereishi shishishi

SHE'S GONNA ASK HER MOM TO TAKE HER TO THE SEA WITH HER??? LIKE SHE DOES AFTER WITH LUFFY??? MY GOD!!! I just bursted into tears like I got punched in the nose I can't keep going ajdhakajk

I lied i can keep going... but head in my hands over this....

Find out how my emotional stability survives this arc in ennies lobby part 2. coming soon

[theflyingfeeling]

...💩

[ghosts-of-love]

not to be mentally ill but today when i went for a walk in a nature reserve i was climbing a hill and it was cold but so so sunny and everything looked beautiful and i saw so many cool things and i stood there and was like damn what's this feeling in my chest and why am i smiling so much?? my guy,, it's called fucking happiness. i was just present and content in the moment and couldn't contain myself so kept doing the silly arm shake thing i do and grinning at everything and then was like woah what's this feeling. fuckin, happiness dude.

[mctreeleth]

Big Dice Update:

The metre tall dice is very good but it is difficult so say that is bigger than some of the other “biggest” dice I have seen, and now that the technique has been worked out it isn’t that hard to do the math for the next size up, and the sewing is not technically challenging it is just slow, so like, I may as well go for broke in my attempt to make the biggest roll-able D20 there is.

I found some $4 a metre light grey canvas at Spotlight while I was home over the long weekend but they only had 5 metres of it and I needed 10. Fortunately the one up here in the city also had some, so I now have the 10 metres required to make both the 135cm (bigger than the biggest roll-able dice I have found record of online) and 70cm (can fit through a door - just) D20s.

I have ordered a pack of rainbow dyes to colour it (I just want big random rainbow splotchy batik) which hopefully gets here by this weekend, so we can get some spray bottles and make a day of it. I still need to order a hundred+ dollars worth of zipper and twill tape, and then go back to Spotlight for about $30 of the cheap poplin for the tubes.

As always, the noodles will be the last bit bought, because these two will require another 20 of them, and my apartment is quite small.

Oh, and I would like to take the real big one to the medieval fair, which is in less than 4 weeks.

I make such good choices.

[oc-place]

"I'll be there for you, no matter what you're going through I'll be there with you, anytime that you need me to"

Nyx Hopper & Jen Brooks (for @jennathearcher)